Contrary to popular belief, the animated TV series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was not created to provide freaky fetish material for adult men. Its intended purpose is to impart empowering life lessons to young girls. A nice goal to have, and one the show usually meets.

But sometimes it falls short. Way short. Not just missing the bar, but burrowing into the ground under the bar.

 

#1: The Ticket Master (episode 103)

Princess Celestia (god-queen of the ponies) gives Twilight Sparkle (protagonist) two tickets to a fancy party. Problem: Twilight Sparkle has six friends, and freaks out at the prospect of having to choose between them.

The first two friends she meets after receiving the tickets are Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Rainbow Dash wants to go to the party so she can impress her favorite sports team. Applejack wants to go to the party so she can sell refreshments and earn enough money to pay for a new roof for her borderline-condemned barn, a new plow to replace her currently rusty one, and hip replacement surgery for her grandmother.

Sounds like an easy choice, right? Not for Twilight. Her response?

“Oh my. Those are all pretty good reasons, aren’t they?”

Then all of Twilight’s other friends chime in with their own reasons to want to go to the ball, including a general love of parties, the wish to meet a handsome prince, and the desire to hang out with lots of cute fuzzy animals. And yet, somehow, getting money to pay for hip replacement surgery doesn’t strike anyone as the obvious choice for “best reason to go.”

Twilight spends the rest of the episode unable to decide who to give her spare ticket to. At last she chooses to return the two tickets rather than pick between her friends. This earns her seven tickets––enough for everyone to go to the party!

MORAL OF THE STORY:

“Celebrity worship is every bit as important as providing healthcare for the elderly.”

 

#2: A Friend in Deed (episode 218)

Pinkie Pie is a very loud, extroverted, high-energy pony.

Cranky Doodle Donkey (yes, really) is new in town, and doesn’t take kindly to being ambushed by Pinkie Pie’s personal party wagon.

Repeatedly.

Finally, after Pinkie Pie’s fits of cheeriness destroy one of Cranky’s prized possessions, he tells her to gtfo.

Pinkie Pie is not only unable to take a hint, but unable to take a definitive NO for an answer. So instead of leaving the poor guy alone, she hunts him down so she can apologize and feel better. (In the real world, we call that “being an asshole.”)

Of course, this isn’t the real world. This is Ponyville, and Pinkie Pie is this episode’s protagonist. Which means her actions don’t earn her a restraining order. What does happen is she luckily runs across Cranky’s actual friend, who he’s been wandering the world in search of for the last few decades. Reunited with his friend, Cranky’s attitude does a 180 and he agrees to be Pinkie Pie’s friend as well.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

“If someone hates you, harass them until they like you.”

 

#3: Bridle Gossip (episode 109)

All the ponies in Ponyville have an irrational fear/hatred of their zebra neighbor, Zecora. After some wacky miscommunication and misadventure, they learn not to judge a book by its cover.

So what’s the problem? While Zecora does speak English (only in rhyme for some reason), she also says some lines in another language. When a fan asked what other language Zecora was speaking and what she was saying, show creator Lauren Faust gave this response:

We did not have the time or resources to have authentic Swahili, so we asked the voice actress to ad-lib some African sounding gibberish.

I was a bit disappointed, but I just imagine it’s not Swahili, it’s Zebra.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

“Foreign languages are literally nonsense.”

 

#4: Too Many Pinkie Pies (episode 303)

Pinkie Pie has five friends and not enough hours in the day to hang out with all of them. Solution? Clone herself!

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The clones end up making more clones and long story short, the original Pinkie Pie gets lost in the shuffle. Her friends find a magic spell to send back the clones, but the method they use to determine the clones from the real deal is a little weird: they herd all the Pinkie Pies into one room and tell them to watch paint dry.

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Whoever stays still and shut-up longest gets to live. Those who can’t keep quiet are systematically destroyed.

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Pinkie Pie, as mentioned earlier, bears the defining personality trait of mania. Fortunately, she keeps a lid on her ADHD long enough to not get killed by her friends and becomes the last Pinkie Pie standing. And they all live happily ever after!

MORAL OF THE STORY:

“If you don’t want your friends to erase you from existence, you should act as unlike yourself as possible.”

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