Archives for posts with tag: queer

If you weren’t watching Sailor Moon as a kid, you missed out on one of the queerest children’s shows of all time.

This queerness didn’t sit well with the companies responsible for the English-dubbed version that aired in North America. So they covered it up. Or tried to. Turns out, straightening out Sailor Moon is harder than it sounds. And in many cases, the end result looked just as queer as the original. Sometimes even queerer.

Here follows a list of attempts by the NA English dub to de-queer Sailor Moon, ranked from most to least effective.

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svedburg_was_shagging_a_tranny wow

“Svedburg was shagging a tranny. Wow.”

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with thanks to angevin2 for her help with Elizabethan innuendo

CANON

Henry IV, Part I

Henry IV, Part II

More specifically, The Hollow Crown (2012).

AUTHOR

William Shakespeare

PAIRING

Hal/Poins

THE PLAYERS

princehal

Prince Hal, aka Harry, is Prince of Wales and heir to the throne. Once his dad kicks it, he becomes King Henry V (and sometimes Harry le Roy). Dude has names out the wazoo. On the surface, he is a medieval frat boy who spends all his time boozing and whoring it up in common taverns with people far below his station and is generally a huge embarrassment to his dad, King Henry IV. In reality, as his very first soliloquy reveals, all this partying is just an act so that everyone will be even more impressed when he becomes king and casts his partyboy past aside to be super competent. He’s gonna be a legend, damnit, and he’s got the whole story already planned out.

poins

Edward Poins, aka Ned and often just Poins, is the second son of a random nobleman, which means while he’s technically aristocracy, he will inherit no land or titles. Traditionally, second sons go into the church or the military to make their way in the world. Poins has decided to screw tradition and settled on petty thievery for a career. Like Hal, he spends a lot of time at Mistress Quickly’s tavern (The Boar’s Head). In The Hollow Crown specifically, he’s very quick to answer insult with violence and hates Falstaff’s guts.

This being Shakespeare, there are of course alternate character interpretations buzzing around. Feel free to pick one at your own discretion.

TOGETHER, THEY DO CRIME

No, seriously, they do crime.

matafari3

(Snuggling in Snuggies gifs courtesy of matafari)

Among other things. Like each other.

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The major issues with the song “Gay Pirates” by Cosmo Jarvis are twofold, somewhat intertwined, and as follows:

1. gratuitous torture porn, and
2. historical inaccuracy.

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THE BOOK: Moby-Dick
THE AUTHOR: Herman Melville
THE PLOT: The captain of a whaling ship gets his leg bitten off by a white whale and goes on a doomed quest for revenge.
THE PAIRING: Queequeg/Ishmael

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